2 years ago I bought an entire vegan chocolate cake at the supermarket.
I never had the chance to buy it before. So I bought the entire cake for myself. Big enough for 8 people.
As I paid it at the self-checkout, I made a promise. To eat slowly.
It lasted 20 minutes.
I couldn’t control myself. The only thing holding me back was my stomach. After eating half the cake, the only way to stop myself was to throw the remaining half in the bin.
Then last week I started reading Dopamine Nation. It finally made sense why I kept reaching for another piece of cake.
Dopamine is not what you think it is
All my life I heard dopamine is the “feel good” hormone.
But it’s actually “go do this thing so the brain feels good” hormone.
The cycle goes like this
do a thing and get please from it (natural opioids)
Your brain remembers this habit feels good. It wants more. It produces dopamine to urge you to repeat
The release of dopamine and opioids creates a strong connection between your brain and the habit
You keep doing it because you want to feel good (don’t like this. Check out more in your brain on P)
This is good for some things, like drinking cold water on a hot day. But for others, it’s destructive, like drugs, alcohol, and food addiction.
But sometimes you have no idea if it’s a bad habit or not, like using your phone.
That’s why in her book Dopamine Nation, Dr. Lembke teaches the D.O.P.A.M.I.N.E. framework.
The D.O.P.A.M.I.N.E. framework
D -> data
You can't do anything without knowing what the problem is. So the first step is to gather some data about the problem.
For example, I don’t have a chocolate problem when there’s no chocolate at home. But when there is, I can’t hold back. I have to eat the entire bar. And binging on this bad habit leads to me feeling lazy, choosing Netflix over going to the gym, and preferring junk food instead of the healthy food I eat daily.
O -> Objectives
Everyone uses an addiction with a goal. What is yours? To escape the pain you feel with everyday life? To forget something bad you did? To escape boredom?
When chocolate cravings attack, it’s usually in the afternoon. Work is slow and I’m bored. My body is craving some (natural) opioids.
Same thing when I play video games. It’s to escape boredom. So instead of reading books that’ll move my life forward, I choose video games and quick and intense dopamine sessions it produces.
P -> Problems
What kind of problems does your habit cause? This is hard to assess because you can't see how it’s affecting you until you give up. Or until much later in life.
When I eat chocolate, it makes me lazy. It’s bad for my body. It fucks up my health. Not a good combo long-term.
Same thing for playing video games. I spent hours of my life on quick dopamine hits. Hours I could’ve spent moving me closer to my goals. And if I look back at my teenage years, it’s even worse. I went to school, came back, and spent 10 hours per day looking at a glowing rectangle.
A -> Abstinence
Compulsive behavior feels good because it produces a lot of dopamine in your brain. Which then produces a lot of natural opioids, which makes you feel great.
So when you quit, there's an imbalance. Your brain is used to a certain amount of dopamine. Now that source of dopamine is gone. No natural experience can make you feel good now.
That's why quitting something is hard. Everyday life is too boring compared to the synthetic pleasures we get from food, drugs, alcohol, etc. And quitting is the only way for your brain to recover from too much stimulation.
How long do you need? Lembke suggests 4 weeks. 2 is not enough since people are still having withdrawal symptoms. And this varies as well. Some people need less than 4. Some more. You have to experiment to see what applies to you. It also doesn't work to substitute one addiction for another.
The first few days are always the hardest when I stop eating chocolate. Your brain is begging you for a quick hit of dopamine. But after these first few weeks, it gets easier. It also helps to associate your cravings with another habit. For example, every time I want to eat something sweet, I could eat a fruit. Not the same thing. But after a while, the brain adjusts to the new habit and weakens the original cravings
M -> Mindfulness
It's the ability to think about what you're thinking about, without judging yourself.
In the book, the author talks about when she was holding her newborn baby and experienced a vivid thought of smashing the baby's head with the refrigerator's door.
Instead of judging herself ("I'm a horrible mother!"), she followed this thought. Turned out she DIDN'T want to smash her baby's head. She was just worried about the new and huge responsibility of keeping a tiny human alive.
I -> Insight
How do you feel after a month without your compulsive habit? Did your life improve, or do you feel the same? Was your anxiety caused by your habit?
This is your opportunity to see how bad the behavior was in your life.
When I’m off sweets in general, I feel much better. Less mentally tired. More focused. It’s crazy how your body changes when you give up synthetic dopamine spikes.
N -> Next steps
Now it's time to decide what you want to do next. How do you plan on living after discovering all these things about your habits?
Complete abstinence? Or moderate consumption?
I haven’t given up on chocolate. But I accept that if there’s a bar at home, I will eat the entire thing in one go. So I avoid buying it more than once a month.
E -> Experiment
In this step, you have 2 things going on:
Your dopamine levels are back to normal
In the previous step, you chose how you want to keep living your life
This is where you experiment with what feels good for you. The author suggests moderation. But warns that this can backfire
I’ve found a good balance between sweets and focus. And I’m happy with what I’m doing.
Regarding my video game habits, I know I can’t control myself. I can spend months without playing anything. As soon as I start, I can’t control myself. So moderation is off the table.